Break
by SingingMisery
Summary: He didn't sleep. Sleep only brought feelings of horror that threatened to consume his very being. Sequel To "Force."


Title: Break

Pairing: None yet...Angeal and Zack are featured though.

Warnings: Angst...lots of it. Mentions of rape.

Notes: So...I did a sequel. Yay! And I'm making this a three-shot. More yay! It should be done by the end of October. I have lots of school work right now.

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It had been a few weeks since that fateful mission. They had been let go, once it became apparent that Zack was no longer a virgin. The priestess announced it to the townspeople, and the reaction was anger and disbelief. There was nothing they could do about it. The drug had had worn off and their abilities had returned. The SOLDIERs had strict orders not to engage anyone in combat. Besides, Angeal was more concerned about getting Zack out of there. Angry shouts and curses followed them but with Genesis and Sephiroth running interference, Angeal managed to usher his unresponsive student to safety.

The trip back to Shinra was silent. Zack, huddled in his seat in the helicopter, didn't look at Angeal, Sephiroth, or Genesis the entire trip. He fiddled with his restraints, looking like a trapped animal that was restless to get out. Several times, Angeal opened his mouth to attempt an apology, but the words just wouldn't come out. When they finally got back to the Shinra building, Sephiroth quietly ordered Zack to get medical attention. Angeal half-expected him to protest, but he just bowed his head with a quiet 'yes sir' and left. The sight was so disheartening for Angeal, watching a dejected Zack walking away without his usual bounce.

Sephiroth took control then, sending Genesis and Angeal to their rooms while he delivered the report to the president. He refused to let Angeal to come with him, refused to let him turn himself in.

The mission was ruled as a failure. President Shinra was not upset by this, almost expecting it. That particular village had clung to the old ways for an age, refusing to come into the future. He was confident they would come to Shinra Electric Company for help in the future. No further action was required. Things were to go back to normal.

Easier said than done. The innocent relationship Angeal had with Zack was gone. Anything he said could be misconstrued, making both of them wince. Training, an activity they usually did together, became a solitary exercise for Zack. The few times Angeal did observe him, the Third was so tense his usually flexible movements become mechanical and rigid. Like every time Zack was alone with his teacher. Like now.

"Zack, your stance isn't wide enough." Unconsciously, Angeal stepped forward. Zack stepped back, his dull eyes suddenly bright with fear. It hurt, seeing that fear. But, he deserved it. The teen adjusted his stance in according with Angeal's advice. The rest of the session passed in silence, broken only by the noises of exertion from Zack. Before the mission, Zack would usually go to Angeal's place for a movie and sleep in the spare bedroom after these sessions, proclaiming it comfier than sleeping in the barracks. Now, he took off without even saying goodbye.

Evenings were strangely quiet, something Angeal found unnerving. He was used to the television being on and his student giggling. He didn't sleep; sleep only brought nightmares of Zack lying helpless beneath him, eyes shining with betrayal and hurt. Genesis visited him sometimes, mostly to tell him that he was being too passive. He should be seeking Zack out, to work this out with him. Angeal would never respond. Zack had been through enough. He didn't need to be cornered by the one person he hated right now.

Remarkably, his student's attendance in his classes didn't falter, and his marks were still exemplary. A few of Zack's teachers mentioned that his attitude had changed, becoming more subdued. Angeal would smile tightly, dismissing concerns with an unconvincing excuse that Zack was just maturing. Indeed, the few times he saw the teen, he was quiet and absent of his usually bouncy movements. Each time was like a knife to his heart.

He wanted it back. Zack's trust, his smile, the easy-going friendship they had. Admittedly, his reasons were selfish. But knowing that he was the cause of Zack's pain was ripping him apart. As fruitless as it was, he spent every waking moment wishing he could take back what had happened.

Another evening alone. Angeal took in the paperwork sitting on his table, dismissing it with a sigh. The lights were off. The pictures of important people in his life were darkened shadows. He didn't have to be reminded of how he had failed them. _Honour and pride indeed._

_Earlier that day, Sephiroth had summoned him to his office. They didn't talk for the longest time, Sephiroth subtly watching Angeal._

_"Lazard has asked me to find out what is going on with you." The words were careful, which almost made Angeal laugh. Sephiroth was never careful around anyone. "I said I would look into it. But Angeal...if the higher ups are picking up on your change in attitude..." He didn't have to finish the statement. SOLDIERs who couldn't handle stress were usually let go. With no one to turn to, most volunteered for unsanctioned experiments that cause negative, and permanent, effects._

_"What do you want me to do, Seph? Act like everything is okay? It's not, and it's never going to be okay again. Zack deserves someone who can protect him better, not allow him to be raped."_

_The silver-haired general regarded him with cool eyes. "You saved his life. We were in a dangerous situation, without weapons or our abilities. They were going to kill him, Angeal."_

_The commander shrugged. "I realize that, Sephiroth. But that doesn't make what I did right."_

_"Fair will realize, with time, that you are still a good man."_

_Angeal didn't respond to that. How could Zack see him as anything but a monster?_

Out of the silence, his phone rang. He considered letting it ring, but he remembered what Sephiroth had said about his behaviour. He glanced at the caller ID.

It was Zack.

Quickly, he flipped open the cell phone. "Hello?"

"C-commander Hewley?" The voice wasn't Zack's, but it sounded frightened.

Angeal frowned, "yes, who is this?"

"This is Kunsel, sir. I'm a friend of Zack's." There was a pause. "You better come to his room. Zack's really sick and I can't get him up."

Angeal stood up, and strode out his door. "I'm on my way."

A teen he had never seen before was waiting at the door to the barracks, eyes nervous. He led Angeal to Zack's room. The teen was lying on his bed, skin clammy and covered in sweat. Even though Zack did receive mako injections, he was still vulnerable to illness. His bruised eyelids flickered in his sleep, his face uneasy. He was shivering. Angeal pushed back his matted spikes, cursing at how cold his skin was. Behind him, Kunsel blabbered.

"He's been pushing himself harder and harder lately. He only eats when he's forced to and pretends to sleep at night. A couple of times, I've woken up to hear him crying. But you know Zack, he's good at fooling people into thinking he's fine. All that charisma, you know?"

Angeal barely registered the words, nodding in the right places. He knew he had some potions and other items of healing in his apartment. But that would involve bringing Zack to his place. Angeal agonized over the decision for seconds. Zack's safety was first and he needed care badly. Grasping Zack, he stood. Inside his arms, the boy whined and weakly struggled with a pained murmur. Angeal ignored this and the pain it caused. Zack's friend walked them back to the door, fretting the entire time. "You'll take care of him?"

Angeal nodded, making sure the blanket was wrapped around his student's body. It was cold out and he didn't need any more chills. "I have some things back at my place that will help."

The boy nodded, looking relieved. "Then he is in capable hands, sir."

He really wished he could believe those words.

Angeal was finally able to get Zack to stop shivering back at his place, wrapping him in several blankets. He moaned weakly at the feeling of hands on him, trying to bat them away. Angeal again forced back the feelings of hurt this apparent rejection caused. Carefully, he set the boy on his bed. He slept, only waking from the daze he was in briefly. Tired eyes focusing on Angeal.

"A-Angeal?"

"Do you think you can drink a potion?"

Zack blinked, seeming confused. Angeal held out a bottle. The teen took it and drank it without questioning. He lay back down on the bed, eyes fluttering closed.

"Please don't hate me." The words were so quiet; Angeal thought it was his own desperate imagination. Before he could ask what Zack meant, he was out, his breathing uneven with sickness. He made sure his student was adequately covered and had some water on the bedside table. Deep in thought, he wandered to the couch in his living room and sat down. As the night progressed, he mulled over some paperwork he had let pile up in the past few weeks. He kept one ear trained to the bedroom. Soon, it was morning. Not wanting to wake Zack, Angeal made a phone call to Sephiroth. If the general was confused as to why his friend was excusing his student for the next couple of days, it didn't show in his voice.

The sickness raged on for two days. Soon, Zack had a fever, his skin becoming hot to the touch. Angeal made sure he slept peacefully by leaving continuous cups of an herbal tea that had a naturally occurring sleep aid in it. He was surprised that the cup was empty each time. Zack probably had no idea where he was.

Usually, Angeal kept out of the room, getting what little sleep he could in the guest room. He didn't want to cause any undue panic for Zack by hanging around. The few times the boy was restless and whimpering, Angeal permitted himself to touch Zack, brushing back sweat-soaked hair from his forehead. His hands shook each time, afraid that his student would wake up and shrink away in fear. That would be too much to take.

On the morning of the third day, Zack's fever broke. Angeal found him sitting up, blanket wrapped around him. He shook slightly when Angeal came into the room, forcing the SOLDIER to hang back. There was a long silence. Then, the boy cleared his throat.

"Can...can I use your shower?" His hoarse voice wavered slightly. He focused on the blanket, black spikes hanging over his eyes.

"Of course. You don't have to ask." Angeal bit back the urge to slip in his favoured nickname for Zack.

Zack nodded, but didn't move. Angeal realized he was waiting for him to leave, so they didn't have to touch. As he turned to leave, an uncertain question followed him. "After, can we talk?"

Angeal waited in the living room, listening to the water running in the bathroom. He was undeniably nervous but determined not to show it. He was prepared for the words of hate that he deserved.

Finally, Zack's footsteps could be heard. His hair was still damp from the shower, but he twisted a towel with his hands. He sat down on the chair directly across from Angeal, not looking up.

"I g-guess I should thank you for taking care of me. It's good to know..." Zack paused, taking a breath. "It's good to know that I can trust you." His blue eyes widened in panic; he looked like he was going to burst into tears. "I do trust you, Angeal, more than anyone." He took more deep breaths. "I have to say something. So don't interrupt me." He settled down in the chair. "I know you did what you did to save my life. And that you would never hurt me on purpose. But every time I see you, my heart just contracts with fear. And I hate it! I hate being afraid. I want things to go back to normal, the way they were before. But it just won't. I keep trying, but it won't! I can't even sleep at night. Every time I do, I'm back in that place." Zack was trembling now, hands clamped down on the armrests.

Angeal leaned forward, alarmed. "Zack..."

"People keep asking me if I'm alright. I hate that too. I just smile and convince them everything is fine. Because if I tell what happened, you could get in trouble. And...I really don't want that." Unnoticed, a tear slipped down Zack's pale cheek. "I'm just really sorry, Angeal. That I'm not brave enough to deal with this." More tears followed the first; Zack starting to sob. His weeping was quiet and he covered his eyes with his hand.

Angeal stood. Ignoring the one rule he set for himself, he grasped Zack's wrists. Miserable eyes met his as he knelt in front of his student. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch or try to shrink away. "Zack, what you are feeling is normal. Your trust was betrayed by the one person who was supposed to look out for you. I...did this to you. The last thing you should be worrying about is me." Angeal bowed his head, releasing his hold on Zack's wrists.

"I can't do this without you." The words were barely above a whisper. Zack was terrified now. Would Angeal send him away? He leaned forward; the cotton of his t-shirt stretching over the angle of his body. Angeal realized with a dull sense of delight that the boy is wearing his shirt. It was too big, making him look even more younger and vulnerable. "I-I need you."

He was stunned. Zack...needed him? His mind came up with a thousand different things Zack needed. Number one on that list was to stay far away from him. His thoughts were interrupted by Zack gripping his arm. His eyes were beseeching, and he worried his lip. "Please, Angeal." Tears continued to fall unchecked.

Taking a chance, Angeal gathered his student in his arms. Zack pressed his face to his chest, body shaking with the force of his crying. Angeal petted the black spikes with his hands, murmuring soothing words. Zack curled up in his arms. Suddenly, it was so easy to forgot that he was the cause of all this.

After Zack had cried himself out, his lolled back with exhaustion. Angeal frowned. "You should get some more sleep. I'm guessing you haven't been sleeping in a while." There was a hint of guilt in his voice.

Zack tried to resist. Sleep only brought feelings of horror that threatened to consume his very being. But he was blinking back exhaustion. "Will you stay with me?" He hated to sound weak in front of Angeal. But his mentor just gave him a sad smile.

"Of course."

Later, Zack was tucked into bed. Angeal settled into an armchair. The teen watched Angeal quietly. There was no accusation in the gaze, no hate or anger. Angeal watched Zack as well; his gaze was neutral. Soon, the teen was asleep. Angeal still didn't move. He was fascinated by the rising and falling of Zack's chest and the youthful features peaceful with sleep. How Zack had still managed to hold onto the air of innocence after what happened, he didn't know. But he would do everything in his power to make sure Zack was never hurt again.

During his sleep, Zack woke briefly twice. The first time, Angeal was simply reading a book. The second time, it was dark. Angeal was still in the chair; his strong figure outlined in the dimness. The sight reassured him each time. No nightmares disturbed his sleep this time.

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Reviews please? Please?


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